Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
