we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
