Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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