Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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