She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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