You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize