Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My pussy is not your playground.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
