If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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