JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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