A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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