am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize