i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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