dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
