somebody snuck up and got me drunk
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
