chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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