No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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