Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Randomize
