He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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