You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
