what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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