I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
