My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
