I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
