we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
