this beer tastes like vomit already
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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