Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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