Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
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please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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