Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize