So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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