What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
