Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...

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  (407): i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star... http://tfl.nu/jbo8
  Replies (534) Good night (135926) Bad night (6503)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today

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  (404): I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today http://tfl.nu/iz45
  Replies (31) Good night (6035) Bad night (2128)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.

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  (901): He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/xizg
  Replies (12) Good night (841) Bad night (6407)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.

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  (305): After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it. http://tfl.nu/d686
  Replies (31) Good night (5418) Bad night (1515)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.

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  (513): You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm. http://tfl.nu/60sn
  Replies (10) Good night (4599) Bad night (1075)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even

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  (717): She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even http://tfl.nu/tali
  Replies (14) Good night (3366) Bad night (1514)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.

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  (512): Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough. http://tfl.nu/vxm3
  Replies (10) Good night (1694) Bad night (744)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.

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  (406): As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins. http://tfl.nu/zjez
  Replies (21) Good night (5547) Bad night (1289)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us

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  (713): the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us http://tfl.nu/zpdd
  Replies (14) Good night (7032) Bad night (1033)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me

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  (516): This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me http://tfl.nu/3xgn
  Replies (20) Good night (2228) Bad night (3905)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.

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  (912): But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate. http://tfl.nu/0oig
  Replies (4) Good night (806) Bad night (418)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.

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  (706): I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea. http://tfl.nu/y332
  Replies (5) Good night (526) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL

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  (330): easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL http://tfl.nu/8uqk
  Replies (4) Good night (914) Bad night (426)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud

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  (+44): My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud http://tfl.nu/dffg
  Replies (2) Good night (304) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.

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  (620): Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire. http://tfl.nu/eow7
  Replies (1) Good night (662) Bad night (258)

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