yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.