Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
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I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
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just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.