Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
