Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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