I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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