I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
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