i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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