We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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