Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You made out with two different species that night
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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