i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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