I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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