Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
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