If i come over, it means nothing
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
