Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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