Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
