I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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