Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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