The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
