I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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