Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
