Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
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Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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