My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
