none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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