"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
