I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
