I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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