do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize