so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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