Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
