Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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