does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
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So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
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I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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