Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
