I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
