I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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