You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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