i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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