mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
