who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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