she woke up with a sticky ear
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
