I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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