christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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