They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
