Can Purell be used as lube?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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